I am Sorry. Forgive me. Thank You. I Love You.

I started this project a while back when I realized I was miserable and trapped in a perpetual cycle of suffering, especially when it came to the people I had crushes on... This idea emerged following a profound conversation with a friend about the state I found myself in. This project delves into layers of relationship, focusing on the concealed energies involved in feminine-to-feminine intimacy—those “secret thoughts.” Layers steeped in division, attraction and aversion, comparison, judgment, envy, lust, love, hatred, suspicion, and condemnation, to name a few.

In romantic interactions, there are many additional layers of concealed energies (secret thoughts), such as the pursuit of fulfillment and completion, the desire for a happy ending, someone to project guilt onto, creating a new family, righting childhood wrongs, and sexual desires, ect.

To provide some context, I'm a 21-year-old queer female with abandonment issues and other baggage from my past. I grew up in a chaotic family with a mother who struggled with substance abuse, mental health issues, and numerous suicide attempts—one of which was ultimately successful during my early teenage years. I usually avoid going into detail about my childhood because I believe people are more than just their relationships with caregivers and their painful memories.

However, this background is certainly one of the factors that shapes how I interact with others and affects some of the concealed energies that surface for me. I reached out to people I used to have a crush on and openly discussed our past interactions. We talked through everything that had been left unsaid, which helped me gain clarity and understand how these past connections have shaped my present relationship dynamics and my desires. These pictures are their reactions to both things said and unsaid.

This is a personal journey, and I’m offering a glimpse into just a small part of it. My purpose for this project is to see through these layers I spoke about and to forgive.

Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred.(ACIM, W-p11.1.1:1)

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is still, and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is. (ACIM, W-pII.1.4:1-5)